How 2022 Has Been So Far

It's less than a hundred days before Christmas, we're nearing the end of 2022 and I still don't have the right words to describe the year so far. It's strange, looking back this year. I feel it's better yet still stuck. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

For me, personally, I struggled with anxiety last year around August and it was probably the worst anxiety and depression. I got through it, thank God. Early this year, my mental and emotional state was challenged once more. But I tried to remember how it felt like last year, how horrible, dark and miserable I felt, and how I didn't want to be in the same boat again. I look at my kids and can't help but feel grateful. They're okay and they're healthy and we are complete. That's what kept me going. That's what keeps me going.

This year's also better because the twins are getting bigger. They're not as difficult to look after as compared when they were younger. Albeit, they wear me out and tire me more now because they're so much more active. But there was less fights and bites. Being a hands on mom, I see it all. The good, the bad, the dirty. Haha! 

Even though having twin toddlers is really exhausting, I still can't help but realize that God wanted me to have this. God wanted me to experience THIS. The joy and love twins can give.

My eldest, Robyn, has been doing online school for now. Having this setup is such a lifesaver because it helped me logistically not worry how I would bring her to and from school. She's so independent now that she prepares and fixes everything she needs for school, does all her work, seldom asks me for help. She has stepped up so much and I cannot be any more prouder.

The personality of my children are also starting to show. Robyn is at that awkward age when you don't know if you're still a kid or a teen, but her love for her siblings make her want to play with them and watch Steve and Maggie with them. :) Niko, being the middle child and only boy, is my silly kulit. He always shows off, always running around, being so hyper active. But he's the clingiest to me. Nia, on the other hand, can play by herself. She has her favorite toys that she usually plays with. Sometimes she'd come to me and pull my hand to bring me to her playing spot so I'll play with her. She also follows Niko around. She copies him, whatever he does. Which is good also, considering Nia's condition. At least Niko can model speech and words to her so she can repeat them too.

Being stuck at home means more celebrations at home which I personally don't mind. I'm an introvert which may come as a shock to some. But I've always preferred talking to people who I know personally and who I'm used to, rather than talking to a large crowd or needing to do small talk. Plus the fact that I can contain the toddlers is such a big bonus too. This actually reminds me that I need to start thinking of decorations for Christmas and the twins' 3rd birthday!

My parents moved houses and moved to the same village as me, which made me sooooo sooo happy. See I've grown in the same setup before. Amma (My grandma) was always our neighbor so I was so used to having family around. When I got married and moved far from my family, it was logistically difficult but we would always visit. So now having my parents be in the same village as us means that my children will have the same experience as me. They'll have their grandparents a stone away. Visiting them is also so much easier.

Perhaps one of the big differences of 2021 and 2022 is being more mobile, and getting around a little easier. Now, we got to visit friends too! Being at home almost every single day, doing the same thing each day and not having any peace and quiet can be really draining. So being able to see my friends and talk with adults too really helps me emotionally and mentally. Remember what I said about containing the kids? Since we prefer going to each other's houses, it's so much easier to let the kids play with each other and not worry because they're just there, while the adults mingle.

We are also able to bring the kids out more. Most of the time it's just the 5 of us. Hubs, me and the kids. We've let them go to Timezone twice and both times they enjoyed a lot. These are the things that the twins have never experienced before and I know that somehow these experiences will help them in the future too. I know this because I see how Robyn is now. And I know that it's because of all the experiences, environment and places we've brought her.

What is with sons? Are they really sweeter than daughters? Niko is the sweetest out of my three children. Not saying that my daughters are not sweet, but Niko is the clingiest for sure. He would always go to me, hug me, or just be near me. Sometimes it can get annoying especially when I'm trying to rest but I always remind myself to treasure this time. Because in a few years, he would not want to do it again. Haha! Nia is clingier to my husband. Everytime the hubs come home, she's right behind him!

Because of Tiktok, I've been seeing kids play instruments and realized that Music will truly help Nia's condition. Music can train her to listen more. I know that it will help her in the future. And coincidentally, my sister in law came to visit and bought a keyboard/piano here for her daughter. We talked about piano because that's what I would want for Nia to learn when she's older. My SIL mentioned that she plans to resell the piano that she bought when they go back to Canada so she asked me if I'd want to have it instead. I agreed immediately because I thought Robyn would want to learn too. 

So Robyn has already started her piano class. Obviously, she's lazy. Haha! And she'd say she doesn't want to anymore. But I expected it from her, that's how she is at first. I really feel like she'll learn discipline with playing the piano and I also want to expose her to different hobbies and activities aside from just using her iPad the whole day! For now she's doing 2 sessions a week. Let's hope that it will finally interest her and get her excited for class everytime. :)

Dates with the hubs is very sporadic, but we do grocery runs together. So I remember he told me to treat grocery runs as date days already. Haha! I love having alone times with my husband, away from the noise of the kids. We always have deep conversations about life, dreams, plans, anything. And I learn so much from him. I think that's one thing that made me fall in love with him. He is so wise. And even though it seems like we're so different and opposites from the outside, we have the same values and beliefs that just make "us" work. We are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary this month and it's our 20th year together. Can you believe it?

As for me, I have good days and bad days. Most of my bad days are brought about by stress and exhaustion, nothing too serious. I learned to take it a day at a time because of the pandemic. There are so many things I want to do, but I just can't right now and I'm learning to be okay with it. Grace, I give myself grace. 

Unfortunately, we also caught the bug and tested positive for Covid. We are still recovering and everybody seems to have less and less symptoms, thank you God. For the kids and I, there's really not much difference since we're pretty much always just at home. My husband, on the other hand, had to stay home and not report for work so that he won't infect other people. I'm sure it's very very very difficult for him, but he knows it's best. So keep us in your prayers that we will test negative soon. :)

Thanks for reading! Stay Yellow and stay Yummy!

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