Nia's Update Post Cochlear Implant Surgery #calears

I made an update video for Nia, just to share where we're at after her cochlear implant surgery and therapy. It's been a few months since Nia's Cochlear Implant surgery, so I wanted to make an update video on her recovery and progress. We are blessed that we now have options and technology is on our side. With time, therapy, guidance and prayers, Nia will be able to hear and speak normally. 


After her switch on, her AVT or auditory verbal therapy resumed. For now, she has therapy twice a month. Let's be honest, online classes and toddlers don't always match. There are times she babbles nonstop, which is my favorite because we get to listen to her vocabulary. Her therapist gets to tick which ones Nia can already say and do. There are times she just sits there, without a peep. Sometimes she doesn't cooperate. Sometimes she keeps moving that we can't do a single activity because she just won't stop. Those times stress me out so much. It makes me feel like I'm spending thousand of pesos for nothing. Her therapist says it's okay and that we just follow Nia's lead because well, what else can we do right? But still, it makes me feel like I'm throwing money away. :/


She's gone to several mapping sessions as well, which basically means reprogramming her hearing device, giving us different volume that we can adjust every few days. Do we see changes? I don't know, it's difficult to tell.


She doesn't remove her processor as much as before. I've always hated it when she throws it just like it's nothing. All I think of is that's millions of pesos you're pulling and throwing on the ground! Geez. So I'm thankful when her processor starts getting loose and she comes to me to have it fixed.


I want to say that everything's smooth sailing. Perhaps it is. She used to hate book reading, compared to Niko who loves to be read to. Now I can read to her too, few chosen books with about 4 pages, but I'll take it over nothing. Another improvement is now she listens to narrations in videos. She still loves her song and dance numbers but now, I see her actually sitting and watching narrations too, such as Blues Clues. It means she's listening to the stories, even if there's no melody.


She is still more observant than her brother. When I teach new dances or new songs, she would listen intently and watch very closely. And she gets it real fast.

These are good, it's progress. Her therapist is happy to see her respond and engaged and attend more. But as usual, the control freak in me still gets anxious from time to time. I now see her delay. Before it wasn't that evident, but now, it's more obvious. I know, I know. It's not right to compare, but it's difficult not to right? Especially since she has a twin just 3 minutes her senior.


I mentioned this to her therapist and she told me that Nia will catch up eventually. I told her about my fear of her not being able to go to the same school as her siblings. She said she's confident Nia can, when she's in primary school. But how about preschool? I still would want her to be in the same preschool as her brother. I haven't thought about putting her in a special school because I thought that was the point of early intervention right? These thoughts wash over me. However I know that I'm getting way ahead of myself. She's not even 2 yet.


My twins are turning 2 this December, and so many of my friends say that I'm putting too much pressure on ourselves. Toddlers still don't talk at this point, and I should know this, I already have Robyn! But honestly, with Ro, we just went with it. We didn't time when she first talked, her first word, and the timeline of her speech. I try to recall and watch her past videos, but I just can't pinpoint the exact time. But that's because we know Robyn didn't have any problems. Given that we know Nia has a disability, I have become more observant. Not just to her but even to Niko. When they do something new and different, right away, I think, is this normal? If they become too active too rowdy, I'd think is there something wrong? If they don't understand that I'm asking for the blue ball and not the red one, I'd think do they have sight problems too? Yes perhaps I'm OA. But I can't help it, there's trauma. I am no longer just a regular mom. I'm a mom who experienced hearing her doctor say that there's something wrong with the baby. I'm a mom who was asked by the doctor so many many many times if I did something or ate something when I was pregnant to cause this. I'm a mom who had to watch my baby be hurt so many times and tests to be done to her. I'm a mom who waited in a covid waiting room waiting for her 1 year old daughter to be out of surgery. I'm traumatized. So I give myself grace when I start thinking of negativity right away. I give myself grace when I start questioning the welfare and development of my babies. I give myself grace because I need to.


But that's the reality of this journey. The unknowns and the never ending questions you perhaps already know the answers to but just don't accept it. It's taking things one day at a time. I cannot think way ahead because there are still so many hurdles along the way We still need to tackle. This is definitely something I have to deal with day in day out. My husband and I talk about it, and we agreed that we will only feel "safe" and at peace when we finally hear her speak. We are still on our toes and are still hoping and praying for the day we can finally breathe.


I talk to other CI moms who have older kids, who have also experienced the same things, who have gone through similar challenges. They always say be patient, trust the process and everything will work out okay. They are the only ones who truly fully understand what we're going through now. That gives me hope, it makes me feel better, it calms me somehow. But I'm very stubborn and as I said, a control freak. So it's still very hard for me to imagine. There are good days, there are bad days. I won't see huge progress every single day. Nonetheless I look forward to seeing Nia as one of the senior CI implantees that have a good story to tell, a positive outcome. Trust the process, believe in all the positive stories I hear And surrender everything to the Lord.


Thanks for reading!

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